So there we were.

Asiya flowers in hand and Stijn several thousand kilometres apart and both of us starting to develop (our) feelings for each other more and more.

Looking back, it's easy of course to see how things have developed in such a short time. But even then it felt – for the both of us – that this was more than just another interesting person.


Imagine yourself, for a second, walking along a beach for a moment; where the horizon is far and the view wide. In the distance you see the outline of a figure, slowly getting bigger as he or she is making their way to you. But even though that person is still too far to even see any details whatsoever, in your heart you recognize them and when you two are close enough you see that indeed it was this person all along. And you knew it, all this time, in your heart.

Well, so it was with us as well.

And of course there are different specific moments that triggered these feelings of recognition and these increases in recognition, affection and in the end feelings of love. These specific moments that functioned like stepping stones on the way to each other we decided to label them the "moments that go BOOM". Like how something deep inside clicks and it just feels so natural and right on so many levels. These moments that made us fall in love more and more each time again.

Naturally, these moments – or parts of our story – include all the "firsts", like the very first message on Tinder (in which Stijn referenced Tchaikovsky with really touched Asiya), or our very first video chat. Because when just speaking by the phone Asiya had one opinion of Stijn, namely that he was rather "shy" – these understated and modest Belgians… But during the first video call Asiya's impression of Stijn changed a bit because she was pleasantly surprised to see Stijn – in her own words - "so confident and sexy and stunning".

Of course, the first phonecall was also a milestone, and this happened as a direct response to the flowers Stijn send to Asiya. Russians being such a passionate and deeply romantic bunch she immediately called him to thank him. The tremble in her voice because of the wave of emotions she felt when receiving the flowers (with a intentional nod to Asiya's favourite painter Van Gogh) really touched Stijn's heart as well.

But then again, if you're asking someone to name their foundational moments these ones (first phone call, first video chat, first letter,…) are obvious answers.

Then there are the typical "long distance relationship" ones, which we cover in another piece, and these moments are also very precious because they deepen and shape our relationship and sense of belonging. But since they are discussed elsewhere, it suffices to just mention them here: our first online date at the (virtual) National Gallery, Stijn's nightly readings from a book of famous love letters, our first (online) sex, the constant creativity in finding and realising new ideas to deepen this relationship,… and of course our first (of many) romantic dinner together while the boys were playing downstairs unbeknownst to what was happening upstairs. Their puzzlement later on to find a lot of candles burning and the curtains closed made it all the more precious…

Again, however formative these moments are they are also quick to grasp and maybe even quite "plain" or unoriginal. Even so, this doesn't make them any less important to us, on the contrary. Because ultimately these moments also functioned as stepping stones towards each other.

Rather less ordinary are two moments that stood out for Stijn and made him fall in love with Asiya even more. One of these was the story Asiya told of her trip to Amsterdam and how she and a friend had such a fun time visiting these "coffeeshops". What made Stijn like this so much was that it corrected the image he held of Asiya. Her being this stunning, interesting and hardworking self-made woman was fine on its own, but this story also showed her naughty side and provided a glimpse of how she sometimes has a disregard for the rules when they don't suit her… and it reverberated with Stijn on so many levels.

The other moment, and quite opposite of the weed-related one, is how both Asiya and Stijn early on discovered that they both share an interest in certain philosophical Freudian and psychoanalytical concepts. And while it might not necessarily be the stuff that people dream of, it held a promise that here was another person with whom it is possible to talk on so many levels. Not just discussing the everyday superficial life but also the deeper levels that ordinarily aren't always topics of discussion but equally play their part in life.

What it basically all comes down to, is how we both continued to surprise each other from the very beginning.

How we were surprised by this constant discovery of just how interesting and wonderful this other person was.

How both of us having a list in mind of things we wanted our future partner to be yet still this other one was so much more than we even dreamed (mindblowing sex, great conversations about so many things, feeling safe comfortable and valued, teasing and laughing together, enjoying all the aspects of our life,…). For us this is how relationships are supposed to be and feel like.

How all these little moments that went BOOM gave glimpses of a world still to come, and which we are forming every day again.