Even though we recently posted on finding yourself in a long distance relationship, we've only just scratched the surface. Before specifically talking about both the advantages of being in a LDR and the challenges that come with it we decided to list some general characteristics, traits or "things" if you like that we feel are fundamental to understanding relationships in general and long distance relationship in particular.

Even though we've tried to write them in a sort-of order of importance, every relationship is unique and just like ours did, will have its own story and peculiarities.

We can't imagine even starting with a LDR if you're not trusting your partner. Because even if you're not the jealous type the distance apart will make you need to trust your significant other in more ways than normal. And yes, sometimes this might suck. But is also is a splendid way for him or her to show you again and again just how much they care for you.

We're not only talking about jealousy kind of trust, mind. Whenever one of the two needs to do something that impacts the both of you – administrative decisions, tackling a challenging situation without you nearby such you only can cheer on from the sidelines,… It takes a lot of mutual trust to make a "normal" relationship work, but with a LDR we're talking about another level of trust and loyalty. Like when you're getting started and sharing your feelings, or when you're making decisions about the future or trying to meet each other in a forbidden country,… Trust might very well be the most important aspect, but there can't be trust without some good communication, so therefore it's our logical second on the list.

There's the communication skills necessary in navigating the challenges of differences of opinion between the both of you – tricky enough without all this distance between the two of you. There's also the importance of communication in how to work around the distance. Because we human primates need to feel attachment, and since it's not possible to experience it in a physical form, communication will have to help carry this load.

Especially in the time right after the two of you were physically together. Because, oh boy, these moments hurt, and we all experience this hurt in a different way so the best way to cope with it is sharing. And since you can show your affection by gestures and only by words, keep in mind that to make this relationship work you will have to open your heart and share your emotions even more than regular couples.

But don't be afraid, because it will make your relationship and the two of you as a couple stronger, more united and better attuned to each other.

Imagine having spend the most amazing time together – at last! Only to feel the dread becoming greater with each passing moment because you know every minute spend with each other will inevitably bring the oh so painful moment of separation closer as well.

It sucks – and then we're stating it mildly. It hurts and there's a good chance the both of you will shed some tears because of it. And this is only natural.

No matter how hard it is to go back to texting, video chatting and having this distance between you, there is a silver lining – in that you will learn to get over these moments. And you'll do it together.

Does this make things better? Not really.

Does it help the both of you to become stronger as a couple? That might very well be.

However heartbreaking these moments of solitude and being separated might feel, don't forget to keep on living your life. Surround yourself with friends and/or find a hobby to enjoy on your own, relax, go out,… and have fun doing it. Don't wait to be with each other again to live your life.

And if you're feeling jealous when your partner is just doing that while you can't be a part of it – remember that trust is the most important trait in a relationship and use this moment to work on it.

And we don't just mean money – although of course it will also cost you a fair amount of that.

Sure, every couple spends this hard earned cash but in a LDR you will spend significantly more. Why, you ask? Well, there's the travel costs: plane tickets or fuel for your car, travel insurance, maybe also visa fees,… That is without all the normal costs every couple has when they spend time together such as dates and restaurants, parties, gifts,…

But it isn't just the travel costs because missing each other – and not being able to physically connect – will add to your bills as well. We only need to think of all the times Asiya received a surprise bouquet of flowers or another little gift just to tell her how much she is loved. These things add up rather quickly!

So try to plan and figure out beforehand how much leeway you have and what are your options. Better to be frugal and maybe see each other one time less than to rack up debts by spending money you don't have. Play the long game here as well.

Before you even imagine giving this LDR a go, have a serious conversation with yourself and your loved one and try to get a good sense of both of your expectations. Also, try to find a (general) answer to these central questions:

1. How long will it last?
2. What are your expectations?
3. Who will visit the other, where and when?

Yes, we know, it might not be the most romantic thing to do – especially in the beginning of your story. But just look at doing all this practical stuff as another way to show your love to each other, to practice your communication and to create this bond of trust.

Because a long distance relationship requires a lot of effort, energy and also planning. If you think there is no need for clarity in these things or a common goal to work towards (whether it is a visit or even the moment when you will be together indefinitely) chances are your LDR will reach its expiration date rather fast.

Knowing when you will see each other again will make the goodbye's bearable. Having this idea of where you two are going – and how – will prevent your relationship from being a string of broken promises. Or a collection of frustrations when things don't seem possible the way you envisioned them by yourself.

We might have previously touched upon this before, but it is for sure one of the things that might annoy you most. Especially if people's nosiness comes paired with a "well-meant" critical undertone. So don't feel like you have to answer all their – oftentimes insensitive – questions.

You sure as hell know how hard it is do make this LDR work, and you definitely don't need their help reminding you. Thanks but no thanks!

We know that dealing with these, sometimes genuinely well meant, questions from family and friends can be stressful. Even more so when you feel like however you try to explain it to them they just don't get it.

Really, we know.

So don't hesitate to give us a shout or share your story with us. We know what it is, and that it requires a lot of effort but that it's also worth it. Speaking of which…

Sure, we're biased. No problem admitting this. After all, we developed our own blend of magic in just this way. But even if we're biased, we're definitely not blind.

Is it tough?

Absolutely.



Would we go through all this again if it was necessary.

Without any doubt.



Long distance relationships aren't easy and they take even more effort than "normal" relationships. There will be sacrifices involved, but in the end they will be worth it. Trust us on this one.

Because in the end it is about two people in love, and loving each other in such a way that even different cultures, time zones, languages, borders and what more are no obstacle. And what can be more beautiful than this?