You expected a cheerful post? Sorry to have to disappoint you. But then again, the title might already have given it away…



Anyway, having a successful long distance relationship is hard. We all know it, even people whose loved ones never ever left their side for even 100m (let's just – for the sake of argument – suppose such people exist) know it as well. But when we talk about the challenges you face having a LDR there is one that is the worst.

And no, it's not the distance…

Just picture this, after spending such a long time separated you and your loved one finally get to be together again. Although both of you know that this blissful period is only temporary.

So you enjoy this time immensely and try to do as much things together as possible, but in the final days this spectre looms. And the closer you get to the "Day of Doom" (or just having to say goodbye, if you tend to be not as dramatic as we are) the harder it will be to really just enjoy your time.

"That" day eventually comes and although you try no to cry or to lose yourself in this all-engulfing feeling of sadness there's not denying how it hurts. It always does.

But saying goodbye is not just this specific moment. It is a process you need to drag yourself through, every time again.

The feeling of having to go back to texting or facetime. The smells you miss (because you really wanted to have a bit of his perfume on your pyjamas to imagine him nearer to you) but that also make you miss him harder. The photos and videos you watch again and again. The melancholy. The having to start planning for the next time… (if you even know when it will come).

You might think that, well, it's not the end of the world – not seeing each other for a certain time. And yes, you might be right. But the pain of saying goodbye is not just about not seeing your loved one again for such a long time. It's also saying goodbye to all the moments that you won't be able to spend together in the meantime. Those dinners, evenings together in front of the TV, going shopping, lazy Sundays, shared family moments,…

People will sympathise of course, but only a very few might realise how hard this all tends to hurt…

So you said your goodbyes. But instead of saying goodbye to your goodbyes, it's rather the process related above. And when you find yourself home again your "normal life" starts to clamour for your attention while you're still trying to adjust to the boring reality of being separated again.

Why does missing someone need to feel so bad?

And why is there still no teleportation device invented? Are we really waiting until the moment Elon Musk finds himself in a LDR as well?

Anyway, being alone sucks. Yes, it's nice when you have more space in your bed, but in all honesty you just want the other to be here with you when you wake up. Going out with friends is great as well, but it's not the same without your distant loved one.

The saddest thing about it, actually, is how "easy" this process of adapting goes. And how you after a few weeks start to live your life in the same way as before. (Because of course it's not all doom and gloom and there are also advantages. But to list them here would defeat the purpose of this post, so it's all tears and complaining here… Don't say we didn't warn you)

Because, of course it's a challenge! Duh!

Everything that makes this long distance relationship something else than what you'd like it to be (a normal relationship, without the distance probably?) is tied to this stupid thing. This distance.

And of course after a certain time you will have developed a number of ways how to deal with it, such as our tips right here, but the fact remains that sometimes it is easier than on other moments. But sadly it's not possible – or legal – to stay with each other as long as we'd both like to. So after the standard three months are over it's back to square one (or wherever your address might be).

For us, it's just 2.000km, with 6 countries in between. For you it might be more. Or less.

But really, the amount of miles of kilometres don't say everything there is to be said. And it's not possible to capture all these feelings in just a statistic or number. Because, in the end, this distance is what makes us feel powerless when we want to give our loved one a hug or a kiss.

A.K.A. all the other things we would still like to mention but are not as hard as these ones above. Namely:

- Not only flights (but boy, sometimes they can be really expensive) but also all the costs related to visas and applications. And when the travel prices prevent you from seeing each other more, it can be even more frustrating.

- People not understanding. Seriously, it can really get under your skin. But since we already discussed it in a previous post we suggest you read that one as well. Because that's why we wrote it. Just for you.

- The dread of anticipating that something can still go wrong and you have hoped for nothing when your loved one is to arrive. We really don't have a better word or way to describe this feeling but hope that it gets the vibe across.